Stop the Worry Mongrels

There are two things that increase with age—one is our waistline, the other is our worries. I’m still struggling with the waistline thing so let’s put that on hold. but hey, what about our senseless worries? Let’s get rid of them! It’s been said that 80% of what we worry about is worrying done about things over which we have no control anyway. Think about the things that you are stressed out about. How many do you actually have any control over?

A few years ago Bobby McFerrin had a smash hit called “Don’t Worry, Be Happy! He confesses it was actually a song about a need he had due to the enormous stress he was under at the time.
Worry takes energy. It causes stress. When you think of it- Worrying is like a rocking chair—it will give you something to do but you won’t get anywhere.

If you are carrying the heavy burden of unproductive worry around with you, decide today to toss those senseless worries away. Chance are they’ve taken up enough of your life. They can’t change the past, don’t let them ruin the present. Some tips to ease the burden:

1. Identify the worry mongrels. What drives you crazy with worry that you have no control over? Take those things and turn them over to a higher power. Free up your mind to focus
on those things you can do something about.

2. What are the things you can influence the outcome on? Identify those things. For those, make a concrete plan of things you are going to do that will impact a result. What do you need to do now in order to have 'no regrets' later? Make a plan and time line on exactly what you are going to do. It might be something as simple as writing a letter, learning how to text a child, making a phone call, or a more long term solution, i.e. funding a savings account, etc. Focus on that plan and become a 'doer'. Actually implementing a plan will replace any feelings of stress with the healthier feeling of satisfaction.
One woman I know has a granddaughter whom is estranged from her son and his family--which includes her. Her attempts to connect with the little girl have been thwarted which adds to the heartbreak. Still every year on the granddaughter's birthday, Grandma buys a little figurine or momento for her and is keeping them until the day that little girl grows up and one day searches for her roots. Whether this ever happens or not, it fills the need of the grandmother and assures that proof that her love was there should she need it one day to show her granddaughter.

Do you ever wake up at 3 a.m. with a worry mongrel in full force and can't get back to sleep?
Here's a great tip: Make an appointment with yourself for a time when you will continue to
think about the problem. "Tomorrow at 2:00 I will think more about this." You may need to
write down the time on a piece of paper next to your bed. This will 'park' it there and free your mind for rest.

If you have a great tip to share, let us know.

Mastering the "Eye" Challenge

Of all the communication skills taught, it would seem that learning to look someone in the eye is one of the hardest to do. It's just doesn't seem to come naturally. Instead, we tend to look at the ceiling, or down at the floor. In actuality, chances are we are really listening and just trying to process what is being said. People who process information visually tend to look up and to the right while they listen. Kinesthetic processors tend to look to the ground while listening. The result is that the person you are listening to doesn't think you are listening. They may even get hurt feelings or angry because the think that they don't have your attention.

The next opportunity you have to listen to someone; look them in the eye while they are speaking. Note: I said "eye" and not "eyes." Glancing back and forth to their eyes can make you look shifty or like you are not really listening. This is one of the skills that actors work hard to perfect. It is impossible for the person to know that you are looking in just one eye. It sends the message that you are listening intently.

Master this technique and you will be seen as a great communicator!

Getting Past The Bummers

In our book “Burnt Toast & Jam” we use the analogy of Burnt Toast to cover the bad stuff that happens in life--the bummers that life deals us. Sometimes it’s the small things that cause stress, hurt or embarrassment; sometimes it’s really big things that impact our life forever.

Add the down economy and loss of jobs in the mix, and we are living in a time when bummers abound. So how do we replace the burnt cinders with sweet jam? One thing we can do is fill our personal reservoirs with positive strengths of character and abundant humor to give us the tools to endure tough times. The bigger the bummer, the bigger the challenge is. As you reflect on the burnt toast that you have been dealt, these thoughts might help you :

-For bigger bummers, reach out to others who have shared same or similar experiences. Surround yourself with the support of others.
- Let the glory of days gone by give you the courage to pen doors to the future.
-Embrace the fabulous three: Faith in a higher power Hope that sparks possibility and purpose; and Charity for those with an even heavier load.
-Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
-Focus on being grateful for even the smallest things.
-Initiate your own stress reducing techniques, i.e. whistle, hum, sing.
-Dare to be silly and laugh -- it will help lighten the load for all.
(Want to grow your humor skills? Check out our Special Reports at www.kinza.net)
Remember: Life is lumpy. A lump in your oatmeal is not the same as a lump in your breast. Know the difference.

On Stage in Las Vegas!

What a grand time we had recently in Las Vegas. As a member of the Association for Applied Therapeutic Humor, I attended this year’s Conference which was Chaired by Milwaukee's Chip Lutz -- Kudos to Chip and the entire Conference Committee. The Conference was wonderful—and equipped me with even more tools for sharing the healing effects of laughter in women’s wellness, the health care industry and corporate wellness programs. Learning from the best and making new friends from the U.S and other countries represented, this was a wonderful four days. One of the highlights was being a featured entertainer appearing in the Stage show at the Top of the Riviera— Viva Las Vegas! (By the way, have you laughed yet today?)

At the recent Froedtert Community & Network Woman's Fair held at Washington County Fair grounds, West Bend, WI, we spoke to over 800 women and presented Martina Hartwell, R.N. at St. Joseph's Cancer Care Center with some Chuckle Bags to take back with her to the Center.

Thank you to all who were in attendance in our audience. You were great sports as we practiced stepping out of our comfort zones, making healthy choices, having an 'I can do it" attitude-- and even danced! It was great meeting so many of you (and loved the hugs!).

Kudos to Jenn Smith, Gina Lange, and everyone who worked so hard to create this wonderful event!

Does Cancer Have a Sense of Humor?

In an article by Arlene Harder, A, MFT, by the same title, Ms. Harder
Refers to the research concerning the mind-body connection, which sees laughter as a potential influence in healing.......... In a 60 minute segment about the Wellness Community, a national program of support for cancer patients and their families included a segment called a “Joke Fest” at which participants practiced laughing at a particular joke......We hear of fact after fact about how important laughter is to our health. It’s said that 15 minutes of laughter a day can actually extend one’s life.

When my brother-in-law, Ken, discovered he had cancer and had to undergo chemo treatments, I had to come up with a Christmas gift for him. I created a Chuckle Bag™. Months later Ken and my sister Marilyn were marveling over the big part the Chuckle Bag™played in their day during that difficult time. A new “Chuckle” every morning gave them a reprieve from the worry and a positive focus, something to smile about in a time when smiles are scarce. At the end of their 60 day supply of individually wrapped Chuckles, they recycled them again.

As a result of the positive feedback from them and others whom I had given the Bags out to, I started making more Chuckle Bags™and today I find they are a welcome gift (you can find them at http://www.kinza.net/) for Anyone who is sick or lonely, – hey, we all need more laughter. It does a body good!

Fun and Learning Flowed at SEWI-ASTD Meeting

It was great seeing so many old and new friends at the SEWI-ASTD February Chapter meeting. With it’s Focus on taking care of YOU, the morning was held at Windwood Fitness Center and was packed with workshops that dealt with Personal health and attitude skills. My job: As the Stress Terminator, I kicked off theMorning with a taste of our Hurray It’s Monday! program, helping to revitalize spirits and fill personal reservoirs. As the “Workplace Genie” I was given the honor to provide a ‘wrap up” at the morning end, with a touch of glitz and “Genie-ism” attendees were given a quick lesson on movements they could use to energize themselves at their desk, de-stress, and even help prevent carpal tunnel syndrome. What fun we had! -- Thanks for including me in the mix!!!

Super Bowl: Jam for the Soul

As the Super Bowl openers came across the screen, patriotic music pounded across the screen with Faith Hill and Jennifer Hudson’s flawless performances, there was something about watching some of our countries best athletes with heir hands across their heart, teary eyed, and actually singing the national anthem that was a glorious sight. It just doesn’t get any better than this. With all the Burnt toast that our country is dealing with right now between the financial crises, terrorism, and tumultuous changes, this was expression of hope, dedication and love for America and all it stands for. Unity comes from having a sense of common purpose and last night at the Super Bowl, this refreshing message shone through. Wow.